Ready, Set, Remember!
Today I received a gift. It’s a book called Ready, Set, Remember, published in 1978. I kid you not when I say that it teaches you multiplication in the following manner:To determine what 4×6 is, rather than adding together four groups of six, you simply remember that “Rye(x)SHoe=NeRo.” As you can see, with this simple system, one can easily determine that the answer is 24. It may help to envision NeRo in a toga while playing the violin. This book is now available to the general public, completely free of charge. You’ll find it sitting on or near the Franktuary bookshelf. Think of all the things you’ve forgotten without it! Franktuary –making downtown Pittsburgh better one book at a time.
Read This!
Someday, when I write my book, The Vegetarian Epidemic, it will include a chapter entitled “Margarine of Error.” Despite the working title, I have no “beef” with vegetarians (in their presence I prefer tofu). In fact, I think I understand where they’re coming from quite well. How can this be? Well, you’ll just have to read the book and find out. It will be positively groundbreaking. Look for it in stores sometime next decade. In the meantime, read this (over and over and over again).
Deekhof Khafi and Ribo Flavin
I once created a fictional character, known as Ribo Flavin (Reebo FlavEEn). There are no accents for me to use in this blog so I can not spell Ribo’s name correctly. I have an alternate voice mail on my cell phone where I play Ribo as he tells you about hasenfeffer and eggs. Just yesterday I accidentally said “decaf coffee” as “decof caffee.” At that moment Deeqof Khafi, another fictional character was born. One day I would like to write a book about those two and the adventures they have had together. Until that day comes, feel free to submit story suggestions relating to the life and times of Ribo and Deeqof via this blog.
Could it be you??
Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about the final Harry Potter book, which will probably be released this summer. “Who is it that dies?” That’s the question posted on fan blogs the world over. Apparently, J.K. Rowling has divulged that at least one central character suffers an unfortunate ending at some point in the course of the seventh volume’s presumed multitude of pages. Is it Hermione? Is it Ron?? Is it Harry??? Well, consider this… what if it’s you! Rumors have long since circulated that Ms. Rowling traded her soul for the ability to write such compelling books. Some folks go as far as to claim, with absolute assuredness, that the Harry Potter series comes straight from the pit of hell itself. I happen to...
Embarrassing Moment # 67
When, in a fit of excitement, one throws his elbow out while watching sports on television. (Not that I have any idea what that would feel like.) Anyway, today someone from the City Paper dropped off a book for our restaurant called “One.” Apparently, thanks to the use of “technologies never before available,” the four Gospels of Jesus are now one “verbatim consolidated text.” Copies are available for “Christians and non-Christians,” meaning with or without “divine events.” As if reading an account of a “divine event” requires belief in it. I hope I’m not someone who often rushes to judgment, but I’m forced to ask questions in this particular instance. Questions such as: 1)...
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