I’ve always had a problem with white chocolate. The problem I have is that it’s not chocolate at all. What a terrible thing. In my mind it equates to John Shelby Spong identifying himself as a Christian. It’s one thing to not be something, but it’s another thing entirely when you claim to be that something you’re not.
Speaking of evil things that are white, I saw The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe this weekend. Bravo! Gosh, I love The Chronicles of Narnia. Almost as much as I love lunch at Hot D***a.
In keeping with the recent bawdy nature of this publicaton, I’m going to tell you about a book I just read. It wasn’t dirty by any means and is entitled “The Average American.” A guy by the name of Kevin O’Keefe penned it, after searching for the individual who best represents the average American citizen. The book itself is well-written, O’Keefe’s methods are well-planned, and his end result is nothing short of astonishing.
I’m not going to tell you anymore about the book other than to take two statistics from it and quote them out of context.
1) In his lifetime the average American has 14.3 sexual partners.
2) Americans, on average, have nine friends.
This means that the average American has sex with more people than he has friends. In fact, the ratio, we’ll call it a “FREX Score,” of friends to sexual partners for the “average American” is .629.
I’ve never had a ton of close friends, but I’m fairly confident I have more than nine people with whom I’m chummy. I’m not sure what constitutes a “friend” in the specific survey referenced. I do know that my FREX Score is throwing the national average way out of whack.
Tonight I learned that a certain volume of a recent edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica begins with the entry “Menage” and ends with the entry “Ottawa.” So the reference point printed on the binding of the book reads “Menage/Ottawa.” Whoa. That’s QUITE a statement. Here’s to you and yours, Canada!
Just in case you missed the memo (see above)…
I just reread The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe in preparation for the upcoming film adaptation of the book. I hope CS Lewis won’t be rolling over in his grave come December 9. Regardless of how the movie turns out, I bet CS Lewis would have enjoyed a delicious Boar’s Head frankfurter.
Yesterday I had a revelation about the word “amen.” It’s always sounded a little funny to me. I realized that’s because it would make more sense as “themen” or “aman.”
Anyway, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry here. Over that time I’ve been reading a lot of Harry Potter. I’ve been sucked in. Those books are good. In fact, I’m not sure whether I’ve read more chapters of Harry Potter or consumed more hot dogs since I last made a posting. That’s saying something!
I’m pretty excited that the National Hockey League has decided that playing hockey should once again be at the core of what they do. I’m also pumped that a certain Mr. Sidney Crosby will be calling Pittsburgh home, although admittedly I would have preferred to see him end up in a New York Rangers sweater. Anyone know what Nova Scotians like on a hot dog??
