You Tube
Franktuary is on You Tube. Did you know? Also, people read the Post-Gazette. Thanks to that great review from Munch, we’re coming off our best week ever. We wouldn’t be here without you, Pittsburgh, and we know it. Here’s to many more weeks like the one just passed! In other news, the writer of this blog, currently away from Franktuary everyday, works as a cashier in a grocery store in New Jersey. His first customer yesterday declared, as she was checking out, her voyage to the supermarket to be an “emergency trip.” Will someone please explain how an emergency grocery run partially consists of purchasing 48 cans of cherry Pepsi??????????????????????????????????? I’ll tell you, the world we live...
Life @ the Frank
Here’s a new one. The public restroom down the hall now has a padlock, attached to a metal clamp, on its soap dispenser. Why? Because someone was taking the soap out of the dispenser, cutting off the soap packet’s rubber nipple, and putting the soap in his own container. The metal clamp even had to be strategically placed so that it rests across the clear window in the soap dispenser. That’s because if it doesn’t cover that window, the window is broken and the soap is extracted. Just when you think you’ve seen it all…
Squawkers Macaw
Come meet the newest member of the Franktuary team! You can’t miss him, and he’d love to say hello. Squawkers Macaw, what a guy.
Life, As It Were
So. Enough about me. The other day after closing time some gentlemen walked into my building. As they tried to go upstairs I intercepted them. “This building closes at 5,” I said, “and you can’t smoke in here.” One man turned to me and replied that he was willing to leave, but that he didn’t appreciate my accusation that he was smoking. As he said this he waved a lit cigarette in his hand. As I pointed to the incendiary clutched between his right index and middle fingers a look of shock came across his face. Before I could say anything else he ran out the door.
May 17!
Today I am wearing a black t-shirt. In large white block letters and even larger white block numbers it reads “MAY 17.” Appropriate, yes? Today I have also received 5 phone calls from Puerto Rico, where I know no one. I did not answer my phone for any of them. That’s because a few months ago I received multiple phone calls from Puerto Rico as well. Each time I answered then, an increasingly angry man would demand to speak with “Mike.” I would say “No Mike,” which, translated into Spanish is “No Mike.” I would hang up and he would call me back. This time around I wasn’t about to play the same game. Fortunately I have no voice mails. Okay kids, remember, whatever you do, stay out of law school and...
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