The Things we Learn in School
So, if a a fat man and a squirrel were to share a see-saw, how many nuts would the portly fellow have to throw the rodent for things to be in balance?? Life is full of hypotheticals and sometimes it’s healthy to consider them. Yesterday I was invited to join an “allumni” group for my high school. Makes me so proud. Hypothetically, “allumni” would be a great term if put to use by a culinary student when referring to his alma mater. Only if, of course, the English language took to pronouncing the double “L” as the Spanish language serves it up. “A-yum-ni.” Hot and fresh. In my opinion, sentence fragments are superior to misspellings in every way, but the frankfurter trumps them both.
I've Got a Secret
Goodness gracious, I love Jamaica. Actually, I’ve never been to Jamaica, except possibly Jamaica, Queens. What I really do love are the kids from CAPA High School. Why? Because a significant contingent of the CAPA student body has become Franktuary regulars. Aside from that, the school is a magnet performing arts public high school located downtown, on Fort Duquesne Boulevard. I tell you this factoid because right now CAPA is in the midst of its annual all-school musical. I saw it last weekend. It’s “The Secret Garden” and I’m here to vouch that it has a higher production value than the average high school musical. There are performances tonight through Saturday at 8 pm, as well as a matinee and an additional evening performance...
The ShakyBootyBeat
Back in high school, my friend and I wanted to start a Rebirth Brass Band tribute band. We called it the ShakyBootyBeat. Unfortunately, we never got very far with the band because we lacked the appropriate instrumentation. Specifically we never found a sousaphone player, let alone a sousaphone player worthy of filling the shoes of “Big Tuba Phil.” If only I knew “Big Meg” back then. Since we didn’t have an entire band we worked on what we could, meaning we worked on the names of albums yet to be produced. My personal favorite is “Santa’s Got the Funks.” At the time we came up with the title my friend and I were working as caddies at a local golf club. One of our peers was a...
Dino
Over the past few months I’ve come to know a customer of mine fairly well. At least as well as you can know anyone you see several times a week but never for more than five minutes at a time. His name is Dino. Dino orders everything on the menu, but not all at once. For some reason “something” always seems to happen and Dino’s order takes a little bit longer to prepare. It doesn’t seem to matter what it is he orders. Lucky for you, you aren’t Dino! Anyway, whenever I see him, I think of Dino from the Flintstones. Then I think about how my senior class decorated a hallway of my high school around the theme of “The Flintstones Meet The Jetsons” for homecoming. We went all out. In the middle of the hall there...
Story Time!
Well, I’m ready to continue my story. The one you’ve long forgotten about. Here’s a hint, think about Decemer 07. “I need you to unpack some boxes,” said the drawling voice. “I’ll give you $40 each.” “Sure,” Jamie and I responded. After a short walk we arrived at 359 Springfield Avenue, also known as “La Jolie Maison,” a storefront I had passed by countless times before but had never noticed. Upon entering La Jolie Maison I immediately noticed that I was surrounded by absurdly expensive things. Beds, tea cups, harpoons, all sorts of things. We made our way to the store’s back door, where we encountered six large crates set out in a patio area. “Here’s a drill...
Follow Us:
Follow Us  |
