Hi there, friends. It’s good to have me back.
Since I last saw you, I spent the weekend visiting my family and recovered from that experience by spending a relaxing Presidents’ Day here in Pittsburgh. When I say “recovered” I am NOT implying that my family is “a lot to handle.” Quite the contrary, really. They’re good people, some of whom cooked a favorite meal of mine and others of whom enjoyed a hockey matinee at Madison Square Garden with me and/or drove me to the airport at 5 am.
Anyway, in the time since my fingers have last graced this keyboard I have developed some thoughts on McDonalds, air planes, and a certain documentary film. As you may have guessed, I am not going to share any of these thoughts with you at this moment. That would be hasty.
Instead I am going to tell you about my friend Brad Wray, composer of the the soon-to-be mega-hit rock opera “The Gospel of Franks.”* Over the past year he did a remarkable thing. In his apartment, he recorded an original piece of music with vocals and diverse instrumentation every Sunday and Thursday entirely on his own. That’s 104 songs in 12 months. Check out his website www.thesundaythursday.com
*Debuts Saturday March 3, 325 Oliver Avenue, 6 pm
Today I received a letter from ASCAP requesting $400 because we play music in our store. This is much like the letter I once received from BMI.
The people who work for these companies think that someone who owns a business can’t possibly understand the difference between a cover song and original material performed live by someone like Brad Yoder, who owns all the rights to his music. For that matter they don’t believe an owner like me grasps the difference between use of the radio and use of a compact disc player. The bottom line is the charges ASCAP claims we owe are completely bogus.
What I think is this. I should write a letter to ASCAP demanding that every time anyone eats lunch in the workplace, even if it’s brought from home, I am owed a fee. This is because I’ve just formed an organization called ASPRP (American Society for the Protection of Restaurant Property) designed to protect the intellectual property, otherwise known as “food in the work place,” of restaurant owners. It’s only slightly less absurd.
A year ago I was writing about the Terrible Towel. It’s not so fearsome this year.
This Saturday, my friend Brad Yoder is celebrating his new album with a CD release party. I’ll be overseeing some of the food and beverage. It’s at the Brew House on the South Side and doors open at 6:30. Check it out!
For those not familiar with Brad there’s a nice write-up on his new album in today’s Post-Gazette.
Tomorrow I have the honor of adjudicating a “Battle of the Bands” put on by CAPA, the performing arts high school in downtown Pittsburgh. The only time I’ve ever been a judge before was at a soup party. I think I may be better qualified to rate soup than rock bands, but this is flattering nonetheless.
In closing, everyone should have a pair of “lounge pants.” Thanks, bye.
Brad Yoder is playing music here, in Franktuary, this very Friday. That’s all you need to know.
Except for this. There’s still time to vote.
Up above my store there is an opera being performed. It is called “Amahl and the Night Visitors.” It’s about some kids who break into a Neiman Marcus department store one eveing. I actually have no idea what it’s about, but it’s being performed tomorrow night.
That has a lot to do with why we’re going to have extremely truncated holiday hours, but that’s another story. We’re sorry, it’s not our decision. Details to come later this week…
Don’t forget to vote!
This one time at a Rebirth Brass Band show I saw a man named Derrick “Khabuki” Shezbie smoke while playing his trumpet. It’s a rare day indeed that I’m an advocate of smoking, but in this particular case… spectacular!
Earlier in the day the band had done an impromptu mini second line right through Times Square… spectacular! In between those spectacular moments certain members of the band got lost on their way to the venue they were to play at that night in lower Manhattan. I ran into them wandering the streets and helped them find where they were going. They invited me into the musician’s lounge before the show began. I was stunned.
You have to understand that at the time I was about 18 years old and an avid trombone player myself. These men were larger than life to me. I didn’t quite know what was going on other than that I was in the same room as them, I couldn’t speak, and they were offering me beer… in hindsight, spectacular!
Back in high school, my friend and I wanted to start a Rebirth Brass Band tribute band. We called it the ShakyBootyBeat. Unfortunately, we never got very far with the band because we lacked the appropriate instrumentation. Specifically we never found a sousaphone player, let alone a sousaphone player worthy of filling the shoes of “Big Tuba Phil.” If only I knew “Big Meg” back then.
Since we didn’t have an entire band we worked on what we could, meaning we worked on the names of albums yet to be produced. My personal favorite is “Santa’s Got the Funks.”
At the time we came up with the title my friend and I were working as caddies at a local golf club. One of our peers was a laid-back-heavy-set-bearded-middle-aged-black man named Harvey. Another co-worker was a much smaller heavy-set fellow people called “Roger the Dodger.”
For our album cover, we envisioned Harvey wearing a Santa suit and sipping a lemonade while lounging on an inflatable raft as he floated on the pond between the fourth tee and green. Roger would be standing in front of the pond, wearing those curly little elf shoes, a green leotard, and an appropriately elfish cap. He would be sipping a cocktail while casually leaning on a seven wood.
Santa’s Got the Funks.
Next week the Rebirth Brass Band of New Orleans, LA comes to Pittsburgh for the first time in quite a few years. A momentous occasion to say the least. Those of you in the Pittsburgh area should visit MCG Jazz or rebirthbrassband.com for more details.
They are a spectacular live act to catch. To celebrate their arrival we will be recounting our favorite Rebirth Brass Band memories for the rest of the week rather than talking tube steaks.
Wednesday=Santa’s Got the Funks
Thursday=The Red Room or Times Square and the Smoking Trumpet
Friday=The Krispy Kreme Virgin
Stay tuned for details!
Tomorrow is Light Up Night in downtown Pittsburgh. Celebrate the season with Hot Dogma as we stay open until 8 pm! Students from CAPA will be performing live jazz, I will perform with frankfurters, Megan will perform with cookies, and each of you will have the opportunity to perform the service of hanging one of our extremely large Christmas ornaments to the ceiling.
This blog has now been updated for seventeen straight week days. You won’t get that at Wiener World or I.C. Wieners!
