You know, I’m a sports fan. But these days it seems like trades rarely ever happen. Trades are a big part of why I like sports.

What if trades were a part of other professions? For example, I propose the trading of executives. Perhaps Michael Eisner and the year’s top recruit from Harvard’s business school for David Stern and a middle-level manager to be named later. I’m not sure how the money side of things would work, but I do know that this concept would add some spice into the world of business.

What if you could trade across professions?? Sidney Crosby for Barack Obama for Wolfgang Puck and a free-range chicken in a stunning three way deal! I sure hope Barack can skate and Sidney can cook! Wolfgang and his chicken, of course, could handle the politics without a problem. It’s just that if he were to become president we’d have to be sure that the chicken was a United States citizen.

Is anyone else disturbed by the appearance of Hillary Clinton’s eyes on the cover of the current issue of Newsweek? Those puppies have definitely been enhanced.

And once again, tax season is upon us. Actually tax “season” seems more like an infinite loop than a season to me. Only eight forms due this month! There has got to be a better way.

Hot dogs don’t mix well with politics. It’s a fact.

Big debate tonight, folks. 11 democratic presidential hopefuls go head to head on national television tonight at 7 pm. Who says there’s nothing good on TV!???!

Of course, once again, I jest. It’s not so much the concept of a televised political debate that irks me, but the fact that there are 11 candidate going at it at once. It’s ridiculous. How will anyone get a chance to say anything meaningful? I don’t believe they will.

Maybe if the debate goes well, the next time I watch a hockey game I’ll get to see six teams playing at once rather than two because the National Hockey League will adopt a similarly briliant format.

Joking aside, I am curious to see how an 11 person debate works.

Recently I have learned that it is legally unacceptable for a congressman to accept a dinner of oyster pasta from a given lobbying group, however, that same public servant is able to eat raw oysters offered to them by the very same lobbyists. Why is this? Because oyster pasta requires the use of silverware, whereas raw oysters do not.

It’s an issue of ethics. That’s what I read in the Wall Street Journal.

Admittedly, I’m very tired right now, but if I were wide awake I still would find this to be incredibly stupid. Politicians, what a crazy bunch they are. I think I’d do well in a place with fewer rules.

Last night I went to a political function. I’m not all that into politics, but I sure am into free food. It turns out that this particular event was the jackpot.

The event I attended was a pep rally for a woman named Georgia who is running for congress. A friend of mine does some stuff for Georgia’s campaign and asked if my business partner, Megan, and I would be willing to attend as her guests when we were done with work.

We agreed, mostly because we wanted to help her out. I had no idea that what I would be attending involved an open bar and lots of great hors d’oeuvres. Let me tell you, I was pleased as a pumpkin in a potato patch. There was roast beef wrapped around some sort of garlic cream cheese substance! I had Chilean wine. I had many other things. I think Georgia is swell.

While at this party, Megan and I met a man named Victor who plays drums in a band called “Pizazz.” After learning a bit about our backgrounds he’s come to the conclusion that we just might be the horn section he’s been searching for. We find that highly entertaining. I hope you do too. I hope he follows up. Then we can all refer to Megan as “Mrs. Fabulous.”

And, I just ate a chicken-breakfast sausage-horseradish-hot sauce-banana pepper-artichoke heart wrap. Not bad! Better to have garlic in Italy than blood in the onions, I always say.

Today we had a group of Girl Scouts visit. It’s a good thing Megan got back from her holiday vacation last night. I wouldn’t have known what to say to Girl Scouts. They are GIRLS, you know.

I once read that every girl secretly thinks of herself as a princess waiting to be rescued. I probably would have told the scouts that each of them is a princess waiting to be rescued and that princesses aren’t very interested in business. After all, everyone knows princesses are into politics. They would have been confused. I’d better stick to the grills, eh?

Happy New Year!

It has been brought to my attention that the Post-Gazette may not have endorsed Bob O’Connor for mayor. Apparently, what I read is a letter to the editor. It sure looks like an official endorsement on the Bob O’Connor website, though. Of course, this is the same campaign that placed signs in the yards of several of my friends without their permission. Gotta love consistency!

This Tuesday is the Democratic primary in Pittsburgh. The winner of this election will almost definitely be the city’s next mayor. In light of that I went ahead and switched my voter registration from “no affiliation” to “democrat” about a month ago. In one corner, we have Bob O’Connor, the consensus favorite, and in the other corner we have Bill Peduto, a man who, in the opinion of Hot D***a, should be the consensus favorite.

Perhaps the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette puts it best in stating, “Bill Peduto, 40, was the first council member to call for Act 47 help and he’s been an advocate of deep cuts to get the budget under control. He trimmed his salary, reduced office expenses and dared to talk about privatizing trash pickup.” So, why then, in the very same article is the Post-Gazette endorsing Mr. O’Connor??? My understanding is that its because Bob “oozes” Pittsburgh pride. After all, everyone knows how we feel is much more important than what we do.

Emotion is great, but it doesn’t solve problems by itself. On top of that, I’m confident that Mr. Peduto cares about the city of Pittsburgh every bit as much as does Mr. O’Connor. Clearly, the way the city has operated in recent years is not a model that should continue to be followed. It shouldn’t take much to realize that more than anything this city needs to implement new ideas. Those are something Mr. O’Connor seems to lack, while Mr. Peduto has an abundance of new and practical concepts. Mr. O’Connor simply believes that all we need to do is “professionalize” our city’s government. What on earth does that mean???

Check out their websites (listed below) and draw your own conclusion. Then, if you’re eligible, vote for Peduto on May 17!

www.boboconnorformayor.com

www.billpeduto.com

I met Bill Peduto last night. He really is a great guy. He’s got my vote, and I might just get a chance to play on that Pittsburgh celebrity hockey team sooner than I think. In other news, I had my first car accident this weekend. No injuries, except to my car. So, that’s the good (Peduto), the bad (my accident), and the ugly (the current state of my Windstar) for now!

-Tim (from his rocking chair)