Porcupines can shoot their quills. Until someone can prove to me otherwise, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Tonight Mark Messier will have his number retired by the New York Rangers, and it just so happens that this week Comcast cable subscribers have a free preview of “NHL Center Ice.” Until I learned this two days ago, I was seriously pondering driving to Canada immediately after work today. The game doesn’t seem to be listed as televised there, but it has to be, right? I mean it is the true north strong and free. After all, they know what they’re doing up there when it comes to ice.

I’ll bet you didn’t know that this website is the recipient of a Canadian Web Award. That’s because it’s “Canadian friendly, unique, informative, and the Canadian consumer benefits from visiting it.” No joke. I once had a pair of customers from Nova Scotia. Me and the Canadians, we’ve got rapport.

I’m speaking about myself, of course. You see yesterday I made an appearance on KDKA’s “Pittsburgh TODAY Live.” I just saw the clip now, and let me tell you, I don’t look too good. Perhaps that’s normal. Perhaps it’s a good thing I don’t see myself on a regular basis.

In any case, live TV is a strange experience. The crew tells you odd things just before you go on the air. For example, “don’t look into the camera.”

How does that make sense for a news piece?? I couldn’t help but want to look into the camera so what I ended up doing was this sort of strange delayed response fidgeting thing. You have to see the clip to really know what I mean. I’d do it again, for sure, (not the fidget, the TV appearance) but next time I’m demanding a trip to the powder room first! If for some reason there is a next time, that is.

Some people from the Post-Gazette just walked in and had me sing Auld Lang Syne. In doing that, I realized I only know the first line. I hummed the rest. Apparently I’m going to be singing, and by singing I mean humming, on the Post-Gazette website on New Year’s Eve. My crooning will be spliced with a bunch of other people who were asked to do a similar thing. My picture will pop up when my hum comes up. That’s funny stuff.

I’m not sure how I feel about this, but I may be destined to become a chess player. Just before Christmas a customer convinced me to play a game with him. Let me tell you, convincing me to sit down and play a board game was QUITE an accomplishment on his part. Just ask my friends who try to tell me playing RISK is a good idea.

Anyway, he taught me how to play, I sat through the game, and I didn’t dislike it nearly as much as I thought I would. Then, for Christmas, I received a chess board AND an LCD computer chess game. Last night I was hanging out with a friend. I discovered she just happens to be a friend who plays chess.

Friends, the signs are clear. Come into Hot D***a, where we have a chess set, and play a game with me sometime soon. If that’s not a good reason to visit, the come into Hot D***a, where the owner now knows all the words to Auld Lang Syne…

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
And here’s a hand, my trusty friend
And gie’s a hand o’ thine
We’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne

…when you’re on the Food Network. My goodness. If every day were like the last two have been we’d be doing pretty darn well, and I’d probably never have a chance to update this blog.

It’s been brought to my attention that I never continued the story about “Spanky” from a previous blog entry as I promised I would. Well, friends, rest assured that “Spanky” will once again have his day on the pages of Hot Blogma. Just not tonight. I’ve got to wake up pretty early in the morning tomorrow and later in the day I have an important date with a hair straightener.

We’ll talk more soon. Maybe even about something important.

I suggest you watch the Food Network tonight at 9:30 pm. Bet you can’t guess why…

Yesterday I got hit in the collarbone with a hockey puck. I also drove through a severe hail storm on I-79. It’s the little things that keep life interesting, you know?

Speaking of interesting things, watch the Food Network tomorrow night at 9:30 pm. Also check out Handmade Arcade this Saturday. We’ll be vendng from 11 am to 7 pm. www.handmadearcade.com

I did. It’s true.

But, check out our events page… it’s actually been updated.

After a year of wondering if it would ever happen we finally had a food critic write an article about Hot D***a. We’ve been fortunate to be in the news quite a bit in our first year, but oddly enough no one seemed interested in reviewing our food. Until yesterday that is. The article, which was very positive, came out in Thursday’s Tribune-Review. Check it out.

Speaking of the media, a man from the New York Times called for me yesterday. He left a message, and for a while I was really excited that he wanted to write something about Hot D***a. My hometown newspaper in New Jersey had published an article about Hot D***a’s Food Network appearance a few days ago and I thought perhaps The New York Times had gotten wind of it. His message, left with my business partner, simply said that he was calling for me and the he was Michael Pruscheau from the New York Times.

Well, it turns out he was just a salesman.

In case you didn’t know, we’re going to be on the Food Network next week. Specifically, Tuesday November 8 at 9:30 pm. There’s a show called “Recipe for Success” that will be featuring us for an entire episode. This is a classic case of “good things happening to bad people” if you ask me.

I’m kidding of course, but not about the Food Network part. Please watch!

Ever have one of those days where you wake up and don’t wish you were dead, but can’t for the life of you figure out why you’re alive? That’s where I am right now.

A guy I’ve known since I was three –we went to nursery school together– died in a car crash early Friday morning after he fell asleep behind the wheel while driving home from dropping some friends off in a town neighboring his own. I’ve been close to doing that before. Now I wonder why I’m still here and he’s not, or if there’s any rhyme or reason behind that sort of thing at all. I never knew him that well, but I’ve known him a long time. I have some good friends from my early childhood that knew him quite well. Our paths were so similar up until now.

Then I think about all the folks I know who have health issues I’ve been blessed never to have to deal with. Sometimes it seems like I’ve got everything I possibly could have going for me, yet somehow I’ve managed to drop the ball… hopelessly single, business on the brink, etc. etc. It can be challenging for me to believe that I’m doing as much as I should with everything I have, but I do know that I’m trying.

Well, no matter what I’m feeling like, the world continues to spin. I’ve recently learned that Hot D***a’s Food Network appearance is scheduled for November 8 at 9:30 pm. Keep your eyes peeled…

Yesterday Hot D***a turned 10 months old. That in itself isn’t a remarkable fact, but we’re pretty happy about it.

What is remarkable is the breadth of things we’ve experienced since becoming a functional restaurant on October 25.

To change the subject slightly, ever notice how when you’re young and you tell people what you’re doing with your life certain older people who have done a similar thing to what you’re attempting tell you to try something else because what they’ve done is such hard work? Well, I’ve come to realize that no matter what you end up doing with your life hard work is almost always involved if it’s a credible pursuit.

Having said that, it seems like when people discover you’re venturing into the world of restauranteering and small business ownership those cryptic warnings I’ve just referenced come more frequently than ever. So, when we started Hot D***a we expected to have our hands full.

I’m sure we’ve experienced a lot of the chaos most restaurants do in their first year, but I also believe we’ve found ourselves in some curiously unique circumstances. How many tiny restaurant start-ups, without pursuing the opportunity, end up being filmed for a national television audience before they turn five-months-old? Granted, we’ve never actually been on television but the people at The Food Network assure me it will happen- probably in October.

Furthermore, how many tiny restaurant start-ups are discovered by another slightly larger restaurant start-up halfway across the country and threatened with a lawsuit? For all I know, that may be a more common occurrence than I realize. However, surely not many places receive two follow-ups to a seemingly frivolous initial threat forcing them to look into legal council of their own. Of those who do, how many places end up being initially represented pro-bono by their neighbor who, unbeknownst to them, is a certified international legal powerhouse?

My point in writing all this is that whether our future bodes success or failure, it seems clear to me that Hot D***a has become an uncanny focal point of attention for a restaurant of its size, age, and small customer base. Perhaps forces much larger than ourselves are at work. That’s my theory, anyway. Regardless of what happens, I believe we’re in good hands and will come away better for the experience.