You know what else? Michael Bloomberg, the mayor of New York City, is proposing that food stamps no longer be accepted for the purchase of sugary beverages, like Coca-Cola or the Boylan’s soft drinks we offer at Franktuary. Normally when I read about a topic such as this one I am infuriated that the government wants to play a role in what people are allowed to eat. In this case, however, I applaud Bloomberg’s proposal. Nonetheless, The New York Times article from where I became acquainted with this topic is providing enough consternation that I feel the need to deviate from my pre-planned conversation on the apprehension of dovetailing digits and go into full-fledged political diatribe mode.

Detractors of Bloomberg’s idea make the most ridiculous statements. For example, in a letter to Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack 18 members of the Congressional Black Caucus claim that “the plan is unfair to food stamp recipients because it treats them differently from other customers.”

Clearly, food stamp recipients are different from customers who pay for groceries entirely on their own! A person can make a compelling case that food stamps are a good thing, but to claim that it is unreasonable to treat consumers who use food stamps differently demonstrates a gross disregard for entitlements and those who provide them. If someone else is generous enough to buy me something at a grocery store (or anywhere else), I don’t dwell on what my benefactor refuses to purchase for me. Instead, I am grateful for what I’m given. Why shouldn’t the federal government, as the giver, be able to limit what foodstuffs the receiver can acquire?

Even more asinine is the following rhetorical question: “Once you start going into grocery carts, deciding what people can or cannot buy,” Kevin W. Keane of the American Beverage Association queries, “where do you stop?” Undeniably, without the presence of food stamps there are all sorts of products a food stamp user would not be able to bring home, so by providing someone with food stamps you are already “going into grocery carts, deciding what people can or cannot buy.”

If Mr. Keane is truly in favor of the laissez-faire approach to food purchases his quotation suggests, he should be in favor of abolishing welfare altogether! Without a doubt, though, his only aim is to keep the gravy train rolling. On the input side of his operation Mr. Keane has a foolish government subsidizing his product by providing cheap high fructose corn syrup. On the output side Mr. Keane has a spineless government boosting his interest group’s sales by enabling people, who arguably aren’t equipped to make responsible purchasing decisions on their own, to buy his product.

This is a prime example of the unholy alliance between government and corporation we witness far too often in this nation. I say either take Bloomberg’s suggestions and put them into action or, better yet, eliminate food stamps and rely solely on private charity to help the needy.

Alas, I expect neither to happen. I mean, what’s the political appeal of either of those options when, instead, you can settle for benign mediocrity while being fiercely disliked by very few people? Perhaps that’s the real rhetorical question we should all be asking.

As I further ponder this subject, I’ll be sure to keep my phalanges from mingling.

Also, people read the Post-Gazette. Thanks to that great review from Munch, we’re coming off our best week ever. We wouldn’t be here without you, Pittsburgh, and we know it. Here’s to many more weeks like the one just passed!

In other news, the writer of this blog, currently away from Franktuary everyday, works as a cashier in a grocery store in New Jersey. His first customer yesterday declared, as she was checking out, her voyage to the supermarket to be an “emergency trip.” Will someone please explain how an emergency grocery run partially consists of purchasing 48 cans of cherry Pepsi??????????????????????????????????? I’ll tell you, the world we live in…

Then there are the other people. When they find out that there’s not a single drop of Diet Coke anywhere on the premises they make a face roughly akin to the one I would make if a kangaroo defeated me in an arm wrestling match while he chatted in French on his cell phone. In the minds of those people, Diet Coke must be a naturally occurring substance more beneficial to the human body than water. Perhaps they would like to bathe in Diet Coke.

To those people I say unplug yourself! Just for the taste of it, try something else.

In other news, Franktuary is now featured in a webcom. It’s called Something To Be Desired. What webcom means is that you don’t need a TV to watch TV anymore! Give it a shot.

Lately I have been developing “intricate” graphs on scrap paper. They’re very enlightening when it comes to such things as life and/or the food-service industry. I think sometime soon I might scan what I have developed, thanks to Pixma, and share on this blog.

Unfortunately, while we were gone a refrigerator broke. So, instead of kicking off the new year with menu additions we are kicking off the year with a limited menu, extensive inventory purging, and waiting for maintenance men.

In other news Coca-Cola has yet to remove the soda fountain. That has actually worked out well since for the time being we have no room to refrigerate the additional soups which are supposed to be served where the fountain currently stands. And, to wrap things up, this website has just now become accessible for updating for the first time since last year! Why? Why not.

Happy New Year!

Interestingly enough, this letter arrived only days before Franktuary’s scheduled soda fountain removal. If corporate Coca-Cola only knew.

The bottom line is that Coke has made its minimum orders large enough that it’s no longer practical for a restaurant of Franktuary’s size to sell fountain beverages. Rather than extending itself to accomodate “the (fountain) man,” Franktuary is simply hoping that customers have been visiting it for reasons not related to culturally omnipresent soft drinks in the first place.

If you have been coming just for the pop*, I have to say, that’s pretty weird. Nonetheless, I’ve been known to have a quirk or four, so if that is the case I can relate. That’s why we’ll continue to have a dazzling array of carbonated beverages well stocked in our cooler at all times.

While on the subject of digestible liquid I should note that in 2008 we will be expanding and improving our soup selection. After all, something has to go where the fountain once stood.

*I’m from New Jersey, where we say soda. Writing the “word” pop actually made me cringe.