So here I sit, having just returned from a “Buccos” game, and, believe it or not, our heroes won. I’m not sure I’ve ever witnessed that before.

Since, deep down, I’m a Yankees fan that’s really not why I’m writing this post.

Instead, I’m writing because tonight it occurred to me that the Pittsburgh Pirates were my host . For that matter, any time I attend any professional “sporting” event the home team is my “host.”

So, shouldn’t the boys in the dugout clean the bathrooms as well as clean up the general debris left around the stadium after a game? I mean it is “their house” after all. I clean my house and its bathroom(s) after guest(s) are over. I suppose people in the income bracket of professional athletes typically hire “maid(s),” but a good thought nonetheless.

I drove to Cleveland to watch the Yankees play the Indians on the 4th of July and they lost 19 to 1. I invited my dad to go to the game, so he drove all the way from New Jersey to see the same debacle I did.

Let’s just say the Bronx Bombers won’t be winning any “2006 Impeccable Timing Awards” as chosen by Tim.

In my opinion, a Major League Baseball team losing 19 to 1 is the rough equivalent of Hot D***a selling only one hot dog on a given day of the week while at the same time having to pay 674% in taxes on the cost of that single frank. Sure it could happen, but there’s no reason that it ever should.

So here I am in New Jersey, and guess what? I’m bringing a souvenir back to Pittsburgh!

My parents have a very steep driveway. It’s quite icy right now. This morning my dad, try as he might, could not get his car up the driveway. This evening I helped him get his car back in the garage. It was perilously close to a birch tree, and to avoid said foliage it needed a good solid push.

The thing is, I only brought a “nicer” pair of shoes with me on this trip because I’m going to see a Broadway show tomorrow afternoon. What I mean by a “nicer” pair of shoes, of course, is a pair of shoes without any traction whatsoever.

After successfully pushing my dad’s car safely clear of the tree in question, I headed back up his driveway. While attempting to cross it and safely reach the front yard I slipped on the solid yet sloped sheet of ice that is currently in place. I landed directly on my right cheek and slid all the way back down the driveway. The slide itself was quite a fun ride. Needless to say, though, I now have a very rosy cheek!

Prior to all that happening my grandmother received 80 Idaho potatoes (4073) from my relative “Pat” as a birthday gift. You better believe there’s a great story behind that one!

Among other things, my sister also purchased a chocolate fountain specifically for this celebration. The champagne and Corona flowed freely, and many of my relatives, all true New Yorkers, spoke excitedly of the Yankees upcoming season and the season tickets that a select few of them should soon be receiving in the mail.

In case you’re wondering, it’s safe to say you’re a true New Yorker when you consider driving to New Jersey an adventure and/or a trip into the country.

Then there’s my Uncle Tony, who has migrated to Maine and currently holds the family record for visits to Hot D***a. In fact, he might be in Pittsburgh on business this Tuesday. He offered great words of wisdom pertaining to a certain situation I currently find myself entangled in. “I lost a lot of money when I was older than you,” remarked Tony, “and I made it all back.” Here, here!

And all this while, Orbitz, my flight planner for this little weekend excursion, is still leaving me voice mails informing me that my flight is delayed and I won’t be arriving in Newark until tomorrow afternoon at 5 pm. Sometimes I love my life so much!

It’s official, the Pittsburgh Steelers are my third favorite team in professional sports. They were fun to root for before because I’ve lived in the heart of Steelers’ country for the past three years, but now they’ve purchased my affection. Thanks to the Steelers and PNC Bank, Hot D***a has had its best day on record.

Only the New York Rangers and New York Yankees rank ahead of the Steelers now, because, hey, no amount of money can ever replace childhood memories. That said, I will root for the Steelers above all other football teams for the rest of my life and I will make an effort to keep up with them no matter where I find myself in the future.

NBA teams take note, a “favorite” slot is still available to you. Bidding starts at $500. Inquire within! 31.

As some of you may know, I’m a fairly big Yankees fan. So, what am I doing tonight, the first evening of the big Yankees vs. Red Sox series that will decide who wins the AL East? Going to the Pirates game of course!

Wait, I’m confused. Well, no I’m not, but maybe you are.

My dad, who was born blocks away from the House That Ruth Built, is in town visiting me this weekend. He’s visited me several times in the past but never while the Pirates have been home, and he specifically scheduled this visit so we could see them play at PNC Park. Don’t get me wrong, we’ll enjoy ourselves, but I have the feeling we’ll be watching the out of town scoreboard a little more closely than we’ll be following the Buccos!

No matter what game we end up paying more attention to, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll enjoy a hot dog at the ballpark. Of course, I’d enjoy it a lot more if it was a delicious Boar’s Head all-beef frank from Hot D***a instead of the Silverstar standard that has a strangle hold across the Steel City;).

Summer is here in full swing, and I finally had a chance to see my hometown New York Yankees in action this past weekend. I drove to Detroit to watch them play. I’d never been there before, and I have to say I like it up there.

Anyway, I stopped for lunch at a couple of different hot dog joints in downtown Detroit. Very good, no complaints with the food, but can anyone tell me why, in Detroit and a number of other cities, a dog with chili, chopped onions, and yellow mustard is referred to as a “Coney Dog,” or even a “Coney Island Dog”?

Okay, so that was a long sentence. Nonetheless, my question remains. I’ve been to Coney Island, and grew up around the dogs of New York. We don’t eat much in the way of chili dogs where I’m from. The dogs on Coney Island are great, but they bear no resemblance to what the rest of the world call “Coneys.” One of the great mysteries of my life…

-Tim