Today I received a letter from ASCAP requesting $400 because we play music in our store. This is much like the letter I once received from BMI.

The people who work for these companies think that someone who owns a business can’t possibly understand the difference between a cover song and original material performed live by someone like Brad Yoder, who owns all the rights to his music. For that matter they don’t believe an owner like me grasps the difference between use of the radio and use of a compact disc player. The bottom line is the charges ASCAP claims we owe are completely bogus.

What I think is this. I should write a letter to ASCAP demanding that every time anyone eats lunch in the workplace, even if it’s brought from home, I am owed a fee. This is because I’ve just formed an organization called ASPRP (American Society for the Protection of Restaurant Property) designed to protect the intellectual property, otherwise known as “food in the work place,” of restaurant owners. It’s only slightly less absurd.