Today I spoke to a certain individual who, in an attempt to gain a scholarship to an Ivy League University, is creating a school team for a game that rhymes with “wash.” He or she has never played this sport in his or her life. Me. Oh. My. This is higher education in action, people. Look at what it does to some of us.

Because I like this student-aged person and don’t want to short-hand his or her chances I won’t go into great detail. I’m talking about a bright person who probably deserves to go to an Ivy League school if he or she wishes to do so. But come on, whatever happened to following one’s passion? Isn’t that what extracurricular activities should be for, as opposed to improving your image in the eyes of some admissions director who has never actually met you and probably never will? Sometimes I want to live on an island, far away from any of this culture we’ve created.

At any rate, at Franktuary we have combo meals. Occasionally someone will come in and order a “combination.” I am left wondering whether such a customer would request a “floatation” when he desires a root beer float.

Dabbawallas are cool. So are baby elephants.