When, in a fit of excitement, one throws his elbow out while watching sports on television. (Not that I have any idea what that would feel like.)

Anyway, today someone from the City Paper dropped off a book for our restaurant called “One.” Apparently, thanks to the use of “technologies never before available,” the four Gospels of Jesus are now one “verbatim consolidated text.” Copies are available for “Christians and non-Christians,” meaning with or without “divine events.” As if reading an account of a “divine event” requires belief in it.

I hope I’m not someone who often rushes to judgment, but I’m forced to ask questions in this particular instance. Questions such as:

1) Exactly what “technologies” have been discovered that makes this “must read” concept something that was impossible to create until now?
2) How can something sold in two different versions be “verbatim”?
3) And most importantly, why is the City Paper giving me a free book?

Deep questions. Embarrassing moments. What more could you want from a hot dog-centric blog?