I just enjoyed some bubble tea with a friend who told me she accidentally parked in an “Expectant Mothers” space while visiting some sort of retail center the other day.  She felt bad, realizing what she had done only when she was about to leave.  As you may have guessed, my friend is not pregnant.

I helpfully pointed out how one could argue all women, in a sense, are expectant mothers. I mean, really, the way many dogs (not the ones with mustard) are treated today it seems that there are a plethora of expectant mothers who aren’t actually pregnant.

Anyway, I got to thinking.  It’s a good thing those signs read “Expectant Mothers,” as opposed to “Expecting Mothers.”  If it were the latter I could park there with complete justification.  (And I happen to know I’m a 28-year-old male.) If anyone hassled me I’d just explain that I told my mom I’d meet her at the mall.  If I parked anywhere else, how would she know where to look?

All this leads to two very important conclusions:

1) It is vital for Franktuary not to be located in a shopping mall.
2) The Locavore may be the closest thing Franktuary has to a child, and it’s one well treated dog.