Yesterday I was enjoying a little afternoon accounting session when I thought to myself, “how strange, I can’t feel my legs.” For a moment I was worried, but then I realized that I could feel them. It was just that they didn’t have that dull throbbing sensation that they do when they’re tired. It’s literally the first time in months they haven’t felt that way. Maybe I should spend less time on my feet and more time accounting. My legs would never be tired. Then again I’d probably also kill myself and fresh legs aren’t of much value to a dead man.

Another thing happened yesterday. I was in a church service when a table cloth caught on fire. It was an exciting time. This girl got up and jumped over some furniture. I though, perhaps, the weight of her sin had become too much to bear. It turns out, though, that she was rushing to put out a fire before I had even realized that there was a fire. Candles. They’ll get you in trouble. 125.