I’ve always wanted to write that. I hope someone out there in the MIDWEST reads this. I’m also hoping to count how many times I sneeze in 2006. You can count along with this blog! Look for an ever increasing number at the end of some of these entries.

Last night, I was at something called a “cell group.” I’ve never figured out why it’s called a “cell group.” Really, it has absolutely nothing to do with terrorism or prison, I swear. It’s a group of people from my church who meet on a weekly basis. There are actually cell groups all over Pittsburgh. Who knew!?!?

Anyway, the topic of Wicca came up, and I recalled a Wiccan with whom I went to high school. She actually went to elementary school with me too. She was a nice girl, although I regret to inform you that the rest of my grade-school class, myself included, was often not very nice to her. In high school, when she became a Wiccan, she carried around a spell book.

Until last night, I hadn’t thought about that girl or her spell book for years. I used to always wonder if she wrote anything about me in it. I should have inquired. I should have struck up a conversation, but I never did. Now I have no idea what became of this girl, but as far as I know I’m not under any spells.

Then again maybe she really liked me and she’s the reason I can seemingly eat frankfurters as if they’re made of Ultra Slim-Fast. Then again, maybe she’s the reason I’m still single. I’ll never know. 4.