Hi folks!

I realized this morning, more than ever, that I am an American! Why, you ask?? Today I received a letter from some fine folks in Miami who want to sue Hot D***a because, in their opinion, we’re infringing on their trademark rights. Apparently there’s a place in Miami called the $#%@$ Grill. Even though the $#%@$ Grill is only located in Miami, they believe they’re nationally known and that consumers must be confused between our two companies, MORE THAN 1,000 MILES APART. We’ll see what comes of this…

Later in the afternoon, I received my quarterly tax form. Nothing says “I’m an American” like being threatened with a law suit for literally minding your own business and being reminded to file a complicated tax form in the same day! Glad to see that our system is working exactly as our forefathers intended! Does anyone know the way to Canada?