There was a time once, long ago, when I was in kindergarten. My teacher, Mrs. Marshall, made us learn to count with dog biscuits instead of M&Ms so we wouldn’t eat them. The woman had a serious fear of sugar and small children in combination.

One day I said something to a girl named Anna, who was standing near a piano. For the sake of rhyme I remarked “Anna, play the piana.” Instead of following my suggestion she told Mrs. Marshall that I called her “Anna Banana.” I was scolded. I never really said anything to Anna again, but to this day I do enjoy a good bag of M&Ms.