Today I am wearing a black t-shirt. In large white block letters and even larger white block numbers it reads “MAY 17.” Appropriate, yes?

Today I have also received 5 phone calls from Puerto Rico, where I know no one. I did not answer my phone for any of them. That’s because a few months ago I received multiple phone calls from Puerto Rico as well.

Each time I answered then, an increasingly angry man would demand to speak with “Mike.” I would say “No Mike,” which, translated into Spanish is “No Mike.” I would hang up and he would call me back.

This time around I wasn’t about to play the same game. Fortunately I have no voice mails.

Okay kids, remember, whatever you do, stay out of law school and stay away from drugs.