There was a time, long ago. Some of you may know it as 1997. What happened in 1997 has never become public… until now.

My mom, a friend, and I visited my sister while she was in college. On the trip home we stopped at a small run-down gas station somewhere in Pennsylvania. My friend and I used the squalid bathroom, for lack of a better option. It came time to flush, and my friend, who is quite nimble, used his shoe because he didn’t want to touch the handle.

Suddenly his other foot gave out on the slippery floor and rather than flushing a toilet he was lying flat on his back in a 1/4 inch of dirty gas station-bathroom water.

Quite tragic, really.