Earlier in the afternoon the following memo was mailed to one Mr. Bill Peduto.
“Dear Mr. Peduto:
We at Franktuary are dismayed to hear that the plan to have skyscraper-size posters of Marc-Andre Fleury and Sidney Crosby adorn the outer-walls of Fifth Avenue Place has been ‘pooh-poohed‘ because of political ‘drama.‘ We are confident that you feel similarly.
Therefore, we present through you, a chance for the City Council and, most importantly, Mayor Luke, to experience redemption. After all, if not redemption, what is a Franktuary for? Without further adieu, I give you the plan.
It’s as simple as skyscraper-size posters of Franktuary co-founders Tim and Megan. Picture them this summer in the lofty place that Sidney and Marc-Andre should have been granted during the Stanley Cup Finals. July is National Hot Dog Month, you know. To avoid legal problems with the current billboard freeze, City Council can pronounce a temporary Hot Dog Holiday.
Instead of the Penguins logo, another recognizable Pittsburgh logo -that of Franktuary- will be prominently displayed on the Megan and Tim posters. The Reebok logo will be replaced by that of Boar’s Head Delicatessen. The phrase ‘Your Move.’ will give way to ‘Bun Nation Under God.’
We look forward to hearing from you soon as well as seeing ourselves in larger than life format in the very near future.
Respectfully your concerned citizen,
Tim Tobitsch for Franktuary
PS: It is our understanding that you will not be running for mayor in the next election. We are sad, but we also understand. If you would like us to run as your “mayoral-puppets,” we would consider it.”