I guess this whole “mild winter” bit is behind us. Sure was nice while it lasted.
I pine for San Diego, especially when I’m on my bike.
Actually, whenever I feel like my life should be better or different than it is, I find myself thinking about San Diego. Most of the time it has nothing to do with the weather, and that’s partly the case today as well. Lately, I’ve been feeling lonely.
I feel this despite the fact that I have plenty of social opportunities and tons of interaction with other people of all sorts. I own a restaurant and engage in countless casual conversations with customers on a daily basis. I have great friends whom I can talk to about anything at all and go as deep as I’m willing. I even believe that I have a relationship with God, and because of that I’m never really alone at all, regardless of what I feel.
Nonetheless, I feel this loneliness mostly because I want to meet a girl who falls into the “significant other” category. The honest truth is that I don’t understand how that happens. People around me sure get it, though, and what I notice other people doing is what I want to do too. I guess that makes me pretty much like every other person ever.
Just the other day a friend of mine was telling me that sometimes he and his wife have this irrational fear that one of them has died in an accident and they have to call one another just to check in. Wow?!?. Somehow he’s able to let those words come out of his mouth and sound like a healthy human being. I think if I tried to express the same thing I would come across as a stalker. I’m attracted to some women I meet, but I have no idea what my friend is talking about. I hope someday I do.
In any case, I need to learn to be content with what I’ve got, but not content to be complacent. Easier said than done, but as simple as that! There’s plenty worthwhile to do.
My friend James has a great blog. It’s strikingly honest, and it’s inspired my entry today. Even when inspired, though, I’m no James Conley.