There’s a show on NBC called “The Office.” Last night my cousin Brenda (a vegetarian) played “Brenda” on the episode “Booze Cruise.” She’s very talented. She wrote a play called “Matt & Ben” a couple of years ago. I don’t think she acts in it any longer, but I highly recommend that you look into seeing it. It’s hysterical.

I don’t know if I’ve ever shared this with you, but I have BIG legs. I mean they’re really large. I can’t wear loose-fitting jeans unless the waist size is about ten inches too big, because “relaxed fit” jeans on me might as well be spandex.

Growing up, I loved watching Mike Richter, the great New York Rangers goaltender. I happen to know that he has big legs too. Every year I would read the Rangers Media Guide and note that Mr. Richter stood 5′ 11″ and weighed 185 lbs. I aspired to one day be his height and weight. The odds were against me since my dad stands only 5′ 6″ and my mom is a petite 5′ 2″. In fact, no one in my immediate family has ever topped 5′ 8″. Yet today I stand exactly 5′ 11″ and weigh 185 lbs.

If only I had been smart enough to aspire to have Mike Richter’s talent, instead of his body-type. Perhaps Mike Richter and my cousin Brenda (they’ve never met) should take a road trip together and visit Hot D***a. We could talk about life on television and what it’s like to have big legs. Brenda, however, wouldn’t talk about having big legs. She’d eat a veggie dog. 6.