Reports of a sniper in downtown Pittsburgh have been circulating this afternoon. Thankfully, it appears that said reports were only false alarms. Apparently a man with a pellet gun was on top of a downtown building shooting pigeons. Until moments ago no one knew those latter details. In fact, the word on the street was that three people had been shot with a high-powered rifle by a camouflaged man staked out on the top of a skyscraper in the Cultural District. Word out of the news studios was that children attending schools downtown would not be permitted to leave until the SWAT team had resolved the situation.

All that’s changed now. Streets are starting to reopen. Let’s hope this is behind us with no one hurt!

Once I ate 137 cherries without spitting out or swallowing any of the pits. Pits aren’t far from pellets. Anyway, see if you can top that! Once I also ate 12 hotdogs in less than 45 minutes, then immediately walked more than a mile quite briskly, and proceeded to view a musical without vomiting. I don’t recommend trying to top that, but should you attempt such a thing let me know how you fare! I suspect some of you might have trouble stomaching a musical on an empty and sedentary stomach(e).

Here’s Part 5 of The Senile Journey. You thought I forgot, didn’t you?