I’m in charge of Vinny the dog this week. I’m putting him through a workout regimen. Yesterday he ran and I skated about 10 miles in a little less than an hour. He was lagging behind. He pooped four times. When my roommate gets back he’s going to be the owner of one officially hot dog.

Well, friends, I’m here today to share with you some exciting news. There’s a much easier way to own a bonafide “hot dog.” It requires no exercise, you only have to feed yourself, and defecation is entirely optional. All you have to do is visit Hot D***a and purchase any one of our delicious franks. Having said that, it should be known that Hot D***a advocates both pet ownership and exercise (although not necessarily in tandem). Hope to see you soon!