There is this phenomenon. This phenomenon where women, particularly middle-aged women, will walk into Hot D***a and demand one or two potato chips.

They have no intention of paying for said chips, but usually they do order something else. They speak as if it is their God-given right to consume the potato chips I sell to everyone else for free. They act as if it would be unfathomable for me not to understand. “Just a taste,” they’ll say, “I’m serious.” Sometimes they’ll attempt to reach over the counter and help themselves.

Whenever this happens, maybe once every two months, I’m caught by surprise. I want to announce that Americans in general have serious issues with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement and that by making such an ultimatum to me they’re only adding fuel to an already raging fire, but instead I tend to quietly oblige. It’s not that I mind giving away a couple free potato chips every now and then, it’s just that I think it’s really strange that this occurence has happened on a consistent basis over the past 18 months. It seems like the world should know.

More than anything I think this speaks to deep psychological food issues all or most women must have. I won’t pretend I begin to understand.

In response to this situation I’m considering offering a “Women’s Menu.”

Bites of Hot Dog: 50 cents
Single Potato Chips: 7 cents (Two for a dime!)
Sips of Soda: 5 cents
Guilt: Free

Some days I wonder about that group we call the fairer sex.