Last night I stopped by a friends’ birthday party at a bowling alley. I didn’t stay long, and I didn’t bowl, but I did say “happy birthday.” That’s what really counts, eh?

During my brief visit, I was dismayed to learn that the particular bowling establishment, we’ll call it “Forward Lanes,” hosting the party prohibited my friend from bringing in her birthday cake. Ridiculous! They don’t even sell cake at Forward Lanes.

Most of you are probably thinking that I was dismayed because I didn’t get to have any cake. I know, I know. As you read these words you’re thinking, “If I know Tim, half the reason he stopped by this party was for the cake.” Well, you’re right. I think about food a lot.

However, in this particular case, I was mostly dismayed by the principle of the situation. In fact, I hadn’t even given cake a thought until after I was told it was a banned substance. Of course, once I had this information I thought about cake constantly. Talk about one seductive forbidden fruit!

Let’s just say that if you want to bring a cake into Hot D***a you’re more than welcome to do that.

Especially if you let me have a piece.